Recruitment: A Submitted Question

I received a question via Instagram. I was shocked because I didn't know you could send stuff to people on IG, but whatever. I answered it the best I could at the time, but I gave the girl the link to my blog. I'd like to post the question and a much more extended answer than what I sent to her.

Message:
Hi, I saw that you are in a sorority and I was wondering if I could ask you a couple of questions. I'm going to be a freshman in college in August and I think the idea of joining a sorority sounds wonderful, I'm just not sure if I would get recruited or even how it works. I'm not the prettiest, skinniest, or most bubbly girl out there, so I'm afraid I wouldn't make it, but I really want to try and give it my all. Do you have any tips? How does recruitment work? Thank you so much. :)

First off, snaps to this girl for actually starting college wanting to go through recruitment! Four for you Glenn Coco, you go Glenn Coco!!!!

So there's a lot of stuff to cover in this question and now that I'm on my computer I feel I can do a lot better answering all of the questions. So, here we go.

Getting Recruited
"I'm not the prettiest, skinniest, or most bubbly girl out there, so I'm afraid I wouldn't make it..." I know that we've been taught and conditioned to believe that all sorority girls are drop dead gorgeous stick figures with a huge personality, but that's Hollywood's idea of Greek life. Obviously there are sorority girls like that, or the stereotype wouldn't exist. For most sororities, how you look doesn't affect you getting a bid to an organization. Sadly, movies and TV shows have shown sorority girls sitting around looking at pictures of girls and playing the bid/no bid game based on the submitted picture. At my school, when you turn in your rush packet, you are asked to submit either 3 or 4 pictures. They are distributed to the sororities, but not so that the girls can be judged. They are used as a tool to recognize each potential new member (PNM). Now, you're attitude and personality are some things that the sisters of a sorority will take into consideration. Personality has a lot to do with getting a bid. You don't have to run around, meet everyone, talk the loudest, or smile the biggest, just be nice.

Do you have any tips?
This has got to be the most common question for any sorority woman. Just how do you get a bid for a sorority? First of all, you obviously have to show some interest in being recruited by going through rush or attending an open recruitment event. That's my biggest tip. SHOW INTEREST! Secondly, just be yourself. There's no script to recruitment where the sorority women ask you questions and if you give all of the right answers, you get a bid. The sisters want to find life long friends and you can't really do that with someone who pretends to be someone they aren't just to get in. So, seriously, just be yourself. That's really the only tip to getting a bid from a sorority.

How does recruitment work?
So, be recruitment I'm assuming she means rush week. While each school is different, there is a basic format. I am going to go through my school's recruitment process day-by-day just so you can kind of know what to expect.

Monday: Rushee Meeting
At my school, Monday is the night where each rushee meets with our Greek Life Adviser, Recruitment Director, and Recruitment/Rush Counselors (or Rho Gammas). Recruitment/Rush Counselors are typically sorority women who have agreed to disassociate themselves from their sorority for the duration of rush. They lead the rushees through the rush process. On this day, the rushees may ask questions about the upcoming week, they are separated into their three rush groups (we have three NPC sororities on campus), and are introduced to their rush counselors.

Tuesday: Meet and Greet
This is the day where each rush group is taken to visit each sorority. I believe that they spend one hour with each sorority. The sororities decorate rooms (because we don't have houses) in our student center. Each organization can use skits, songs, videos, memorabilia, etc. to introduce the rushees to their organization. This last year my sorority showed a video that one of our alumni made that was a remix of Thrift Shop and we showed a video of pictures from the past year. Then we had a time where we mingled, had snacks, and just got to know the girls.

Wednesday: Philanthropy
On Wednesday night, we introduce the rush class to our philanthropies. My sorority spoke about our national philanthropy and the volunteerism we participate in locally. Then we crafted (in true sorority girl style) Popsicle stick book marks to donate to the library and "Thinking of You" cards to donate to the local nursing home. We were able to mingle while doing the crafts and get to know more of the rushees.

**Wednesday, after all the girls have gone, the sisters sit down and discuss the rushees. Each sorority has a different system of how to extend an invitation for Thursday night's activities.**

Thursday: Preference Night
This is our more serious night. Wednesday night each sorority votes in some way on who to extend a Pref night invitation to. The rushee can receive an invitation from each organization. Each rushee is asked to dress up for this night. It is a formal event. We sit down and eat some small food (we had bite sized cheesecake this past year) and talk on a more serious note about Greek life and why they want to join a sorority. This is the night where each rushee has a lot of thinking to do. If you receive a pref invitation from a sorority, you have the possibility of getting into that sorority. After the pref parties, rushees fill out their preference card. If they only received one invitation, they can only rank that sorority. If they received multiple  invitations, they must rank the sororities.

Friday: Bid Day
Friday is the most exciting day ever!!!!!!!! Rushees who received a bid from a sorority gather. Their rush counselors reveal which sorority they belong to and then they go out to our quad. Each sorority has a path lined to their sisters. The rushees are called out one by one and are given a manila envelope containing their bid card and a piece of paper with the sorority's letters printed on it. They all open their envelopes at the same time, then take off running!!!!!! It's so exciting and rewarding after a week of stressing!

These are our new sisters running to us on bid day Fall 2013!

Recruitment is a fun, stressful, and exciting season. If you attend rush week, yet don't receive a bid, don't take it personally. The sisters may have felt as though they didn't get to know you enough during the few days they had. Keep your eyes open alerting you of open recruitment events that you can attend. Who knows, you may get a bid after the sisters get to know you just a little bit more!

Can a Christian Be a Part of Greek Life?

You may (or may not) know that I am a Christian. My father is a preacher, and I am the anomaly among preachers' kids (so I've been told) seeing as how I never had a crazy phase. Anyway, when I joined my sorority I caught a lot of grief from many of my fellow Christians. I was thinking about this tonight when my dad was teaching on how Jesus taught to achieve greatness. I decided I would write this post on being a Christian and being a part of Greek life. What many people do not know is that several Greek organizations were founded on Christian principles. I understand that not everyone who joins a sorority or fraternity is a Christian, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be friends with non-Christians. Remember, Jesus went to the house of a publican and people questioned his motives. You can't witness to people unless you are in the presence of non-believers. Anyway, I am going to break this post down into three sections because my mind works best that way.

1. Motives of the heart.
I'm not going to lie and say that there aren't parties, however most parties in my [college] town are thrown at personal residences and most aren't even Greeks.

 "But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” -Samuel 16:7

If your desire to be a part of Greek life is to party, God knows. He can see what is truly in your heart. Indulging in the lifestyle of the world can hurt your Christian testimony. If you're considering Greek life and you're a Christian, evaluate your reasons for going Greek and make sure you're doing it for the right reasons.

What ARE the right reasons?

2. Friendships.
Friendships are an essential part of life. Humans were not created to be alone. While we typically associate the creation of Eve as a helpmate for Adam to marriage, it could also be argued for general friendships. While I could quote a ton of scripture, I'll just give you a link to some fantastic ones. But I will quote my favorite.

"A man [that hath] friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend [that] sticketh closer than a brother." - Proverbs 18:24

We are going to have friends that become close to us they are more like family. I have found that in most of my sisters and I feel that I can go to them with any problem I may be facing and they will give me comfort and support without judgement.

3. Achieving greatness through...
Service. At my college, community service is honestly the biggest part of Greek life. We are taught in the Bible to be kind to one another and treat our neighbors with love.

"And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love." - 1 Corinthians 13:13

That isn't the verse that I was referencing in the title of this section, but I thought it would be a little added bonus to remember that the greatest gift is love. Love is the greatest gift you can give or receive. Like I said, Jesus taught us to achieve greatness through serving others.

"But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister;" - Matthew 20:26

"As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God." - 1 Peter 4:10

"Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who art in Heaven." - Matthew 5:16

Community service is a great way to spread your Christian influence. Right after I was initiated into Alpha Sigma Tau we started Greek week. Our philanthropy day was spent at the Boys and Girls Club in my [college] town. Several of the kids that I worked with at the church I attended in my [college] town were there and they were SUPER happy to see me. They ran around holding my hand telling all of their friends from the BGC that I was "Miss Erin from church." It put a huge smile on my face and warmed my heart that I was able to represent my sorority and my church in front of these children.

So what's the verdict?
Can you be in a sorority and be a Christian? Well, I highly agree with another author that this is a matter of prayer. I also agree that your closest friendships should be fellow Christians and seek friendships in campus ministries, but be wary. Just like belonging to a church doesn't make you a Christian, belonging to a campus ministry doesn't make you a Christian. If you are an incoming freshman, you have an entire summer before recruitment season. Spend it in prayer and see where God is leading you.

**All scripture is in the King James Version. That's what I was raised on.**

My Graduation Day Playlist

With graduation looming over my head (December 19th) I have started putting together my playlist for this momentous occasion. I didn't make a playlist for my high school graduation because I was so excited to leave, but college is a different story. I love all the friends I've made and all the moments I've had at my college, and I wouldn't trade it for anything!

 1. Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield

 2. Send Me On My Way - Rusted Root

 3. The Climb - Miley Cyrus

 4. Butterfly Fly Away - Miley Cyrus & Billy Ray Cyrus

 5. Ready, Set, Don't Go - Billy Ray Cyrus & Miley Cyrus

 6. Gone, Gone, Gone - Phillip Phillips

 7. Some Nights - Fun.

 8. (I've Had) The Time of My Life - Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes

 9. Home - Phillip Phillips

10. Good Life - OneRepublic

11. Say Something - A Great Big World

12. This - Darius Rucker

13. Over You - Miranda Lambert

14. The House That Built Me - Miranda Lambert

15. Even If It Breaks Your Heart - Eli Young Band

16. Whenever You Remember - Carrie Underwood

17. For Good - Kristin Chenoweth & Idina Menzel

Each of these songs tells its own individual story of college, and together they tell my story. If you listen to each of them, they might just tell yours as well.

The Question.

If you are graduating college anytime soon (May or December) have probably been asked the question. "What are you going to do after graduation?" If you say that you haven't been asked that, you're a liar. Everyone around us wants us to have our plans in order for the next chapter of our lives, but sometimes we don't give the real answer because we know it's not what people want to hear.

In December I will (hopefully) be graduating with a degree in business management. Whenever someone asks what I will do after graduation they expect me to talk about what I will do with my degree. Of course, I talk about how I eventually want to own my own business, but first I want to work to save some money to start the business. But that's really not all I want to do. I have a whole list of things I want to do after I graduate, so here are a few.


Travel

I have never really traveled. My parents will argue about how I've been to Kentucky, Tennessee, and Kansas. Although I remember Tennessee and Kansas, Kentucky is fuzzy. Yes, my senior year of high school I went to Mexico. But I've never gotten to really get out and explore somewhere. All those trips with my parents I was pretty young (Tennessee, Kentucky, Kansas). Like, younger than 13. I want to travel somewhere and just spend the day walking around and finding things. A little restaurant that no one knows about but has amazing food or a little boutique where the only thing I can afford is a key chain. I want to experience life on my own!


Live On My Own

I guess "technically" I've lived on my own since I moved to college, especially when I had my apartment my freshman year, but I've never felt like I lived on my own. I want to be able to buy groceries without calling my parents to put money in my bank account. I want to move into a place for more than nine months at a time that isn't my parents house. I want to have a house or an apartment that I can decorate how I want it to be. I want to have my own bathroom where I don't get fussed at if I leave my toothpaste on the counter. I want my own kitchen with my own dishes.


Get Married

It sounds so lame but yes, I want to get married after I graduate. I don't have a boyfriend and I haven't had one since my boyfriend dumped me two days after my 15th birthday. My last date was in December of 2011. It was a blind date, we went to a movie, and we never spoke again. My life has been consumed with going to school, making good grades, keeping my scholarship, and graduating. I haven't had time to date. Plus, a guy actually has to WANT to date you. I'm hoping that once I graduate I can find someone who I can picture forever with (because I'm a hopeless romantic).

I know I sound like the most boring person in the world, but these are things I want to happen. I want to go out and do what I love. I want to find someone I love. I want to live somewhere I love. I love my parents and my family, but they have gotten to have me around for 21 years. I think I need to spread my personality and who I am with others.

My Sorority Saved My [Academic] Life

As any freshman would do, I entered college wanting to fit in. I befriended many people in our school's marching band (because I was in it) and wanted to join an organization for band students. This organization required interested students to interview for potential membership. After my interview, I was chosen as a membership candidate for them. It was a dream come true and I thought it was the best thing to happen to me. Until March 19, 2012. I was dismissed from their program and did not join the organization. I became extremely depressed and wound up losing my academic scholarship because I performed poorly in my classes. I worked all through the summer of 2012, got my grades up, got my scholarship back, and decided that I would try to join again. This time, I was not invited to be a membership candidate. Needless to say, I got depressed once more.

If you remember from a previous post, I met my sisters for the first time on the side of the road. That is because the day after I was rejected we were marching in the county Christmas parade. I didn't want to be around band members because of how upset I was. I was hanging out on the side of the road all by myself when an AST sister approached me to make sure I was okay. I explained to her the story above, and she was appalled. As time went on, I was invited to eat lunch with the sisters, I was invited to open recruitment parties, and I went as much as I could.

However, the sisters didn't know something. Standing on the side of that road, alone and crying, I had decided that I was going to drop out after my sophomore year of college. I had had enough of feeling like an outsider, spending every day alone until my roommate needed me to run errands for her. My sorority gave me a reason to stay in school. I finally had a family that I was looking for.

Yes, I was active in the campus ministry. But if you read my last post about people changing when you join a sorority, that's what happened. Almost every person in the campus ministry turned their back on me because I went Greek. That makes no sense, I know. The closer I grew to my sisters, the more they pushed me away. Which is stupid, but whatever.

I will graduate in December 2014 with my Bachelors in Business Administration - Management. I didn't drop out because I found the support system that I needed. Yes, I have my parents and they are supportive of me; however they are 70+ miles away from me. My sisters are by my side, every day, cheering for me. I love being Greek, I love having sisters, and I love that I'm going to graduate.

When You Join a Sorority

It seems as though the public believes that when you join a sorority you lose every ounce of morality you have in your body. As soon as you accept your bid you become a different person. However, that is entirely untrue. And maybe it's not the sorority girls that change, it's the people around them.

Think about it. It's not all that crazy. People already have these wild and crazy assumptions about sororities and Greek life. Not EVERY sorority girl goes to a party every Thursday night. Most nights, sorority girls are either recruiting, completing volunteer hours, or doing homework to keep their GPA up. Not so crazy, right? So why does everyone have this huge problem with Greek life?

They believe the hype. Of course, the news doesn't help either. News outlets LOVE to pick up stories about  fraternities beating pledges with  paddles or sororities making their pledges sit on washing machines and circling every part of the pledge that jiggles (these both really did happen). They don't want to pick up stories about how many members of the Greek community went to a local elementary school and read books to kindergarten and first grade children on Read Across America day. No one cares that each semester (at my school) every Greek on campus is required to complete 10 hours of community service. It's the middle of the semester and I already have 12 hours. One of my sisters has 70.

Back to how people change when you join a sorority. Because they believe what they are fed via Hollywood and news outlets, many people in your life will not be okay with you taking the leap into Greek life. It won't be easy to watch the people you love most push you away, but you need to remember that if they truly cared about you, they would be happy that you are happy. 

But when you do join a sorority, you meet some of your best friends. When I joined, obviously my big sis and I became really close, however there were many other sisters that I built a close relationship with. I couldn't imagine life without some of my sisters and I wonder how I made it without them. Some of them I am still building a relationship with, but we are still pretty good friends. With spring break nearing and my sisters and I going in all different directions, I am not necessarily looking forward to 10 days without my best friends. At least I know that I'll get to spend a lifetime with them making memories and having the best days of my life. 

Elitist: What Does It Mean For Your Organization?

We've all heard the term "elite," but what does it really mean? What I found on Google (when I typed in "define: elite") was "a group of people considered (by others or themselves) to be the best in a particular society or category, esp. because of their power, talent, or wealth." We all would like to think that our group whether it's a sorority, club, or group of friends, is the elite group on campus. However, there is a problem with this type of thought.

If you have even looked at some of my past posts you might be able to figure out that I was in process for a sorority at one point in time, but I was dropped from their process for what I considered some of the most ignorant reasoning I've ever heard, but that is beside the point. I never actually heard any of them refer to themselves as the "elite" or the "best," however, at one point in time they gave off that "self-righteous" vibe to one of my friends. She even used the term "elitist" when mocking them. Basically the same thing that happened to me happened to her from the same group of people. Tonight I saw a status on Facebook where a girl called her sorority "the elite." I have a problem with this.

Of course as a member of that organization, this girl should believe that her sorority is wonderful and great. She should be proud to wear her letters, but referring to your sorority as "the elite" or "the best" can truly alienate PNMs. Girls who were on the fence about Greek life? Yeah, they have made up their minds. No one wants to walk into the middle of a war and in their minds a comment like "we are the best" may seem like there is an ongoing fight between organizations. She doesn't see the pride behind the statement, she only sees the vanity that it presents.

At my school, every organization is working to better our Greek unity. We realize that in a way, we depend on one another. Without one, the others may not exist. So, just so we get everything straight, I'm going to write this on a line all by itself so everyone can understand what I am saying.

No organization is the best, no organization is elite.

If you've ever seen the movie "Gotta Kick It Up" on Disney Channel (let me show my age) you'll know where this quote is coming from. "There is a big difference between the best and being YOUR best." What's the difference? Everyone thinks that they are THE best, but when we start judging who is the best people get their feelings hurt. When we stand back and say that we are proud of sorority and we try to be OUR best, that is when we are truly successful. At the end of the day, being the best doesn't mean anything. If you succeed in what you set out to do, who cares if you raised the most money, got the most new members, had the highest GPA. Who cares if you won Greek Week? That's NOT what these letters are about. These letters are preparing us for our futures. One thing we have to learn is to be successful, but also to not be "the best." Welcome to the real world.