Why I'm "Salty", and Why That's Fine

Recently a friend on Facebook got engaged, then proceeded to share a photo accusing her single friends of being "salty" that she is now engaged.

Okay.

Here's the thing, engaged ladies. Please understand that someone like me, who has over one THOUSAND Facebook friends has more than one friend who got engaged sometime in the last week. In fact, I've had three COUSINS who got engaged in the last week or two. I realized tonight that my brother and I are the only two people over the age of 18 in the family who are not engaged or married. And yes - I know that my issues should not affect you. Your boyfriend shouldn't feel the need to rearrange his proposal plans just because I might get my feelings hurt.

But I have news.

Are you ready?

You shouldn't care if I'm "salty."

I know, I know, we live in this world in which women are supposed to be empowered and not find their fulfillment from relationships. We're supposed to be independent and find our happiness in further education or establishing a career. But, there are still women who dream of finding the person they're supposed to be with, the person they're supposed to share life's moments with. And I'm one of THOSE women.

I put EVERYTHING ahead of a relationship, including school and my sorority. And I don't regret that one bit. That was my choice. But when I graduated, I felt like I had missed out on a whole part of life, since I had not really pursued dating. And now, as an adult, I don't know how to even approach dating, since I've never really experienced it. Oh, how embarrassing! I guess you all know, I've not REALLY been on a date before. Yeah, I've had a coffee grab with a guy, but I've not had a dinner and a movie, get dressed up, and act giddy all day long date.

Also, when I compare my relationship status (or lack thereof) to someone, I usually do so to my parents. My mother was 18 when she got married to my dad, who was 23. I am four years past my mother's age and six months away from my dad's at the age of marriage. Throw on top of that how many friends and family members have gotten engaged recently. My outlook on relationships and engagements has changed. I used to jump up and down and freak out, but the older I get, the less exciting it is.

So yes, I'm "salty", if you HAVE to give it a name. And that's okay. Just because I didn't flood your wall with heart eyed emojis and lose my mind over how beautiful your ring is, doesn't mean I'm not happy for you. It doesn't mean that I hate you. It means that I saw your announcement and chose not to respond. The end. There's nothing extra that you need to concern yourself with.

She Wasn't My Number One, But She Was the Best for Me

With big little season approaching for my chapter, I feel as though I should give some wisdom, from alumna to new member. We all know how it works, bigs rank littles and littles rank bigs, then they're matched as best as possible. But what if you aren't matched with your number one?

Well, I was a new member once. My whole new member process was weird because four of us (in my pledge class of six) received extremely late bids. Two girls already had their bigs when we had big/little mixer. There were four active sisters taking littles. When I had received my bid, I told a girl that I had known for a few years that I wanted her to be my big, but she wasn't taking a little. However, her little was taking a little! That got me excited, BUT there was another girl that I knew outside of the sorority that I also wanted. So, after mixer I ranked the four actives. Paige (my big) was my number two choice. I wondered for a week who my big would be.

My big little reveal was amazing because we popped balloons scattered around the chapter room (we don't have houses). When I found a paper from a balloon that said that Paige was my big, I screamed and ran to her and hugged her. She was my number two, but now she was my big and none of the ranking mattered. But, why do I say she was the best for me?

After being initiated, that other girl, my number one, left school. She didn't drop her letters because she transferred schools, but she left. The girl that got her as a big decided to adopt a different big so that she would have someone there. Paige and I had four wonderful semesters together and we even graduated on the same day.

Sometimes what you WANT isn't what's BEST for you. Paige and I actually see each other at least once a week since we work in the same town. We're considering opening a business together AND I wouldn't have the most perfect twin without her. When your reveal happens, don't be disappointed if you have your number two. She may have been number two on your paper, but if you keep your mind open, she'll be number one in your heart. I am a big believer that everything happens for a reason, and you get that big because she is what you need.

 

 

#MarchOnRome

If you HAVEN'T seen what Jim Rome tweeted about band kids, let me enlighten you. During halftime at the Rose Bowl, Jim Rome, a "sports commentator," decided that he would take to Twitter to take a shot at band students everywhere.

Let's break this down real quick. First off, I assume he's talking about college musicians. Many of which were probably receiving a scholarship (the collegiate equivalent of being paid) to play their instruments. Which would make them professionals in the performance industry. So he is referring to professional performers as 'dorks.'

 Secondly, marching band students do NOT just 'run around with their instruments.' I was in marching band for 8 years and the only reason I quit is because I graduated. Marching band is not only an art, it is a sport. As a high school marching band student, my band had 8-3:30 practices. In college we rehearsed from 8-8. In both programs I practiced every single day. I know there are programs out there that actually practice more (and less) but the fact of the matter is, people go out and take the time to perfect this craft, and saying they "run around with their instruments" is highly offensive.

Third, an adult with a high profile job should not be classifying anyone as 'cool' or asking if someone is cool or not. What is defined as cool? Who defines cool? Should Jim Rome be defining cool? I honestly can't answer any of these questions because I don't believe in cool/uncool. 

BUT HOLD THE PHONE! Jim Rome tweeted a retraction. I refuse to acknowledge this as an apology after reading a fantastic blog. 

Writing the words 'I apologize' didn't matter as soon as he added 'I do not condone bullying of any kind and that was not my intent.' But he said he apologizes! But if bullying wasn't his intent, WHAT WAS?! The blog post I linked above addressed exactly what this is, alpha dog behavior to make anyone not an athlete feel like lesser of a person. Jim Rome's initial tweet was, by definition, cyberbullying. His retraction was nothing more than a ploy to save him from being fired. Think what you may want about band students, or what you want about Jim Rome, but this is my opinion and my take on this whole situation.