My university's beauty pageant is 2 weeks away and I'm pretty sure I am the only competitor that weighs over 150 pounds. I actually have no clue who the woman on the left is. She's gorgeous, I'm not going to lie. She's thin, blonde, she PROBABLY has blue eyes... She's what our society would probably consider "perfect." That's me on the right competing in last year's pageant. I am actually really proud of who I am. Yes, I would love to be her size so that I could actually shop for clothes and they would fit me correctly and maybe a guy would actually want to get to know me, but unfortunately I am not that thin and I will more than likely be about this size forever.
I will never have a thigh gap, my legs are WAY too muscular for that. My arms will never be thin thanks to my days of weightlifting and color guard spinning. I have more muscle than fat on my mid-section, yet I'll never feel comfortable in a bikini. But why is that? It's because our society has taught women that if they don't look like the girl on the left they aren't beautiful. They're just average. Well, I have news for you. Us average girls out number those that society considers perfect.
As much as I love beauty pageants, they have propelled the image of perfection. I can remember growing up and Miss Arkansas would come visit our elementary school or emcee our Miss Land O Lights pageant. She was always so thin, but so perfect. I hated myself because I didn't look like her. My teeth were small, not huge and perfectly white like hers. I was a brunette with brown eyes and super dark skin, not the blue eyed blonde that everyone loved... And I hated the way I looked.
Looking back now I realize that it was pretty dumb to hate myself for things I couldn't really change. I mean, with my skin tone, blonde hair would just look weird so hair dye was out of the question. But why can't an average girl be the next Miss Arkansas? Why can't an average girl be the next Miss America? Miss USA? Why? Because at the end of the day society still wants to see the perfect girls lifted up onto a pedestal. Society tells me that because I don't weigh 120 (the BMI weight that correlates with my height) I am a lazy, obese slob.
Well, society. I am in a sorority and sorority colony. I am one of the founders of a music sorority colony on my campus, I am the Vice-President of Member Development for my other. I am a member of the marching and concert bands, I am a member of my campus' MBSF. I workout whenever I find a spare minute in my week between classes and meetings. I maintain a GPA above a 3.0, teach Sunday school and I work. Still think I'm lazy? So what, I weigh above what the BMI tells me I should? The BMI doesn't take in to account my muscle mass, the fact that I have worn a D since the 7th grade, or the actual activity I do. No, if you're 5' 4" and weigh over 120 pounds they send a letter to your parents saying "You're child is obese and is at risk of blah blah blah."
So, why can't I win my university's pageant? Why can't I win Miss Arkansas? Why can't any girl who is just like me win? I'll let you know when I finally get the answers.
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