A Tribute To My Little

Dear Little,

From the moment that we met

It was almost too good to be true

What could go better together

Than us -- me and you?

You've given me laughs, 

You've given me tears,

You've given me a thousand reasons to smile

Over this past year.

We've gone out and had fun

We've flirted with guys

We've broken some hearts,

Caught many eyes.

It's been fun being your big

That will never end

You're my little forever

You're pretty much my best friend.

I'll never let you go,

I'll never say goodbye,

I'll always be there for you,

Right by your side.

I'm so proud to call you my little

I'm proud of who you are.

You're going to change the world someday

You're going to go SO far!

My dearest little,

This tribute is for you

May you carry my love

In everything you do.

About the Author

Well. This probably should have been my first post, but life goes on. I'd like to introduce you to me (my first post was just introducing my blog). I feel like you all may have learned a lot about me just by reading my posts, but I'll go on and do a little introduction.

Hello, my name is Erin Harris. I am a senior business management major at Henderson State University. I have been a member of the Showband of Arkansas (specifically the color guard) for four years now. I have served as the Vice-President of Member Development and Director of Housing for Alpha Sigma Tau (Alpha Gamma) as well as a charter member of Sigma Alpha Iota (Mu Mu). I am actually graduating a semester early. I have been offered a job after graduation as a copy editor.

My dream was always to attend Henderson, but I had no intention of joining a social sorority. I found my sisters at the lowest point of my collegiate career, and here I am. Graduating a semester early with a job. That is not very common this day in age, and I know that my friends and family are very proud. I just really hope that I can be a beacon of light to others out there to follow your dreams and make them come true, no matter what happens!

An Open Letter to My Active Sisters (Since I'm An Alum)

To my remaining active sisters;

I would like to start off by saying thank you. Thank you for the laughs, the tears, and every memory we've ever made together. Some of you just recently became my sisters, but that means nothing when a semester feels like a life time. Thank you for filling me with hope for the future and letting me know that I am leaving my chapter in good hands. One day you'll be graduating and you'll know exactly what I'm feeling right now. Just remember to teach each new member class just as you've been taught (or even better) and our chapter will continue to grow in sisterhood and strength.

While I am excited to be heading out into the real world, I am also terrified. I'm scared of leaving all of this, all of you behind. What will I do on Monday nights with no chapter meetings? Or post-chapter Taco Bell? Or post-rush Taco Bell? Does Taco Bell even exist without my sisters? You've taught me so much about life and friendship and you didn't even know it. When I was down and all of the older sisters were studying for make-or-break tests, you didn't hesitate to stay by my side until I felt better (even though you were blowing off studying for English). It might have seemed like that's "what sisters are for" but you didn't have to do it. You did it because the day that we all said yes to one another, we all began teaching each other what true sisterhood is. You learned well. That's one of the reasons I have no fear about the future of this chapter. And to my little, you taught me what having a teenage daughter might be like. I think I handled it well though. Well, for the most part. You all also showed me how much I am truly capable of, and that's a lesson I'll need out in the real world. Thank you.

While you may say that us seniors are some of the reasons you are wearing these letters, you're one of the reasons I'm still wearing mine. Sorority life isn't an easy life. It's full of fun, laughter, heartache, and tears. It's a roller coaster. But at the end of the day I look at every girl that I helped recruit to the sorority and I remember that it's all worth it because I have all of you in my life. You may think that the graduating sisters changed this chapter, but all we did was bring you here. The future is up to you, and I know that all of you have the strength and ability to do it. In my time here I've seen many of you grow into stronger women (even you new initiates) and I can't wait to see you continue to grow. Every alum day I come to, every post on Facebook I see, I'll know that my chapter is okay. And whenever I have a little legacy, she'll have a chapter to come back to.

Dry your tears and I'll try to dry mine. This won't be easy, but I know you'll all be fine. You're all going to be great members of our sorority, our campus, and our society. This organization will teach you everything you need to know about the world if you let it. Whenever you graduate, I hope you feel the way I do right now. I am at peace with everything that is happening within our chapter (even though I'll totally lose it at commencement) and I am proud to be your sister and I wouldn't trade you for the world.

 

Why Should it Be a Competition?

If you haven't read this TSM article, I need you to just stop now and go read it here.

Now, if you've read that column, let's talk a little bit about what was said in it.

If you have any knowledge of Greek life, you know that college students have begun dividing the sororities into "Top Tier," "Middle Tier," and "Bottom Tier." This makes absolutely no sense, especially on a campus like mine where we have a grand total of three sororities. Obviously, one sorority would be top, one will be middle, and one will be bottom. However, I do not recognize these rankings because it is highly offensive. In my eyes, my sorority is the top sorority. In the eyes of the Alpha Xi Delta sisters, their sorority is top, the same goes for the ladies of Alpha Sigma Alpha. And why shouldn't we all think our sorority is the top sorority? We each get to see what happens behind closed doors, we get to see how strong our own sisterhood is. What is wrong is that we are letting people from outside of our sisterhoods affect how we view one another as sisters.

Greek men and women are often subjected to higher standards and expectations when it comes to friendships and how they work together. No one gets on a website and rates the marching band on how they work together and talk about one another. (At my school the band is like one huge family.) Why don't they do that? I'm not sure. Part two? I don't care. We view sororities completely different from an organization like the marching band, SGA, or SAB. No other organizations on campus feel as though they should be competing with one another, so why should the sororities feel like they have to fight and compete? We shouldn't.

I have so many friends in Alpha Xi Delta and Alpha Sigma Alpha, it's not even funny. I love these ladies so much. While we don't share letters, we share a love for being a part of something larger than just ourselves. We have devoted ourselves to serving our respective charities as well as our communities. The bottom line is we are all strong women who have dreams and are going to chase them. And we're going to do it with our sisters by our side. One of the older sisters in my sororities coined the phrase "Panhellinic sisters" within our chapter. I will definitely have my AST sisters as well as my panhel sisters by my side for the rest of my life. There is no need for competition among friends.

We as sisters (and panhellinic sisters) should come together to disbar the "tiers" that we are being divided in to. EVERY member of EVERY sorority has something to offer this world. What you look like or what letters you wear do not define your devotion to service or success, so why does it matter what sorority you join? Obviously, if you don't make a connection with the sisters don't join that sorority. But if you connect and then turn down a bid because it's a "bottom tier" sorority, you are viewing sororities all wrong.

         

AST loves ASA                              AST loves AXD

Hi! It's Recruitment Week!!

Recently I saw a post on social media publicly trashing Greek life at a certain college. Unfortunately this is far too common this day in age. While I don't know why this person felt the need to use Facebook to bash Greek life, I do know that so many times people completely miss the mark on what Greek life truly is.

I don't know how many times Greek life bloggers can explain the following point. Dues do not buy you friends. Dues and fees go towards sorority/fraternity events and paying the national office. Sororities and fraternities are in face businesses that have employees who need pay checks. We pay for their services and expertise. That's all I'm going to say about dues and fees. I am SO tired of hearing it. I do NOT pay anyone to be my friend and no one pays me to be theirs.

Moving on. The point of Greek life is not just to party, act like your better than others, or leave people out. As most of my readers know, I am a member of Alpha Sigma Tau. The first line of AST's mission is to foster intellectual, cultural, ethical, and social development of its members. We spend time volunteering, socializing, and learning in the ever changing world. For the most part every sorority aims for these things. Yes, we have our own values that WE hold in a high respect. Yes, we look for girls who share these values and live them in their daily life.

Of course, I speak for MY chapter of MY sorority, but from what I have observed, other sororities/chapters are about the same. Unfortunately, this is not always evident during recruitment.

The most frustrating thing about recruitment is that as active members, we have to determine if a potential new member holds our values in about an hour. That's extremely hard. Not getting a bid (or even a pref invitation) doesn't mean you were disliked in the rush room. It usually means that not many sisters had the opportunity to meet you. They didn't get to know about your 200+ volunteer hours from high school or your 3.99 GPA. But, they probably want to get to know you.

If being in a sorority is THAT important to you, I have some advice. If you didn't get a pref invite or a bid, DO NOT GIVE UP! If those letters and those women mean so much to you, fight for them! Don't bash Greek life, go to open recruitment, spend time with the sisters. It is literally that easy. Put yourself out there and step outside of your comfort zone. You can do it!!

Recruitment: A Submitted Question

I received a question via Instagram. I was shocked because I didn't know you could send stuff to people on IG, but whatever. I answered it the best I could at the time, but I gave the girl the link to my blog. I'd like to post the question and a much more extended answer than what I sent to her.

Message:
Hi, I saw that you are in a sorority and I was wondering if I could ask you a couple of questions. I'm going to be a freshman in college in August and I think the idea of joining a sorority sounds wonderful, I'm just not sure if I would get recruited or even how it works. I'm not the prettiest, skinniest, or most bubbly girl out there, so I'm afraid I wouldn't make it, but I really want to try and give it my all. Do you have any tips? How does recruitment work? Thank you so much. :)

First off, snaps to this girl for actually starting college wanting to go through recruitment! Four for you Glenn Coco, you go Glenn Coco!!!!

So there's a lot of stuff to cover in this question and now that I'm on my computer I feel I can do a lot better answering all of the questions. So, here we go.

Getting Recruited
"I'm not the prettiest, skinniest, or most bubbly girl out there, so I'm afraid I wouldn't make it..." I know that we've been taught and conditioned to believe that all sorority girls are drop dead gorgeous stick figures with a huge personality, but that's Hollywood's idea of Greek life. Obviously there are sorority girls like that, or the stereotype wouldn't exist. For most sororities, how you look doesn't affect you getting a bid to an organization. Sadly, movies and TV shows have shown sorority girls sitting around looking at pictures of girls and playing the bid/no bid game based on the submitted picture. At my school, when you turn in your rush packet, you are asked to submit either 3 or 4 pictures. They are distributed to the sororities, but not so that the girls can be judged. They are used as a tool to recognize each potential new member (PNM). Now, you're attitude and personality are some things that the sisters of a sorority will take into consideration. Personality has a lot to do with getting a bid. You don't have to run around, meet everyone, talk the loudest, or smile the biggest, just be nice.

Do you have any tips?
This has got to be the most common question for any sorority woman. Just how do you get a bid for a sorority? First of all, you obviously have to show some interest in being recruited by going through rush or attending an open recruitment event. That's my biggest tip. SHOW INTEREST! Secondly, just be yourself. There's no script to recruitment where the sorority women ask you questions and if you give all of the right answers, you get a bid. The sisters want to find life long friends and you can't really do that with someone who pretends to be someone they aren't just to get in. So, seriously, just be yourself. That's really the only tip to getting a bid from a sorority.

How does recruitment work?
So, be recruitment I'm assuming she means rush week. While each school is different, there is a basic format. I am going to go through my school's recruitment process day-by-day just so you can kind of know what to expect.

Monday: Rushee Meeting
At my school, Monday is the night where each rushee meets with our Greek Life Adviser, Recruitment Director, and Recruitment/Rush Counselors (or Rho Gammas). Recruitment/Rush Counselors are typically sorority women who have agreed to disassociate themselves from their sorority for the duration of rush. They lead the rushees through the rush process. On this day, the rushees may ask questions about the upcoming week, they are separated into their three rush groups (we have three NPC sororities on campus), and are introduced to their rush counselors.

Tuesday: Meet and Greet
This is the day where each rush group is taken to visit each sorority. I believe that they spend one hour with each sorority. The sororities decorate rooms (because we don't have houses) in our student center. Each organization can use skits, songs, videos, memorabilia, etc. to introduce the rushees to their organization. This last year my sorority showed a video that one of our alumni made that was a remix of Thrift Shop and we showed a video of pictures from the past year. Then we had a time where we mingled, had snacks, and just got to know the girls.

Wednesday: Philanthropy
On Wednesday night, we introduce the rush class to our philanthropies. My sorority spoke about our national philanthropy and the volunteerism we participate in locally. Then we crafted (in true sorority girl style) Popsicle stick book marks to donate to the library and "Thinking of You" cards to donate to the local nursing home. We were able to mingle while doing the crafts and get to know more of the rushees.

**Wednesday, after all the girls have gone, the sisters sit down and discuss the rushees. Each sorority has a different system of how to extend an invitation for Thursday night's activities.**

Thursday: Preference Night
This is our more serious night. Wednesday night each sorority votes in some way on who to extend a Pref night invitation to. The rushee can receive an invitation from each organization. Each rushee is asked to dress up for this night. It is a formal event. We sit down and eat some small food (we had bite sized cheesecake this past year) and talk on a more serious note about Greek life and why they want to join a sorority. This is the night where each rushee has a lot of thinking to do. If you receive a pref invitation from a sorority, you have the possibility of getting into that sorority. After the pref parties, rushees fill out their preference card. If they only received one invitation, they can only rank that sorority. If they received multiple  invitations, they must rank the sororities.

Friday: Bid Day
Friday is the most exciting day ever!!!!!!!! Rushees who received a bid from a sorority gather. Their rush counselors reveal which sorority they belong to and then they go out to our quad. Each sorority has a path lined to their sisters. The rushees are called out one by one and are given a manila envelope containing their bid card and a piece of paper with the sorority's letters printed on it. They all open their envelopes at the same time, then take off running!!!!!! It's so exciting and rewarding after a week of stressing!

These are our new sisters running to us on bid day Fall 2013!

Recruitment is a fun, stressful, and exciting season. If you attend rush week, yet don't receive a bid, don't take it personally. The sisters may have felt as though they didn't get to know you enough during the few days they had. Keep your eyes open alerting you of open recruitment events that you can attend. Who knows, you may get a bid after the sisters get to know you just a little bit more!

Can a Christian Be a Part of Greek Life?

You may (or may not) know that I am a Christian. My father is a preacher, and I am the anomaly among preachers' kids (so I've been told) seeing as how I never had a crazy phase. Anyway, when I joined my sorority I caught a lot of grief from many of my fellow Christians. I was thinking about this tonight when my dad was teaching on how Jesus taught to achieve greatness. I decided I would write this post on being a Christian and being a part of Greek life. What many people do not know is that several Greek organizations were founded on Christian principles. I understand that not everyone who joins a sorority or fraternity is a Christian, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be friends with non-Christians. Remember, Jesus went to the house of a publican and people questioned his motives. You can't witness to people unless you are in the presence of non-believers. Anyway, I am going to break this post down into three sections because my mind works best that way.

1. Motives of the heart.
I'm not going to lie and say that there aren't parties, however most parties in my [college] town are thrown at personal residences and most aren't even Greeks.

 "But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” -Samuel 16:7

If your desire to be a part of Greek life is to party, God knows. He can see what is truly in your heart. Indulging in the lifestyle of the world can hurt your Christian testimony. If you're considering Greek life and you're a Christian, evaluate your reasons for going Greek and make sure you're doing it for the right reasons.

What ARE the right reasons?

2. Friendships.
Friendships are an essential part of life. Humans were not created to be alone. While we typically associate the creation of Eve as a helpmate for Adam to marriage, it could also be argued for general friendships. While I could quote a ton of scripture, I'll just give you a link to some fantastic ones. But I will quote my favorite.

"A man [that hath] friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend [that] sticketh closer than a brother." - Proverbs 18:24

We are going to have friends that become close to us they are more like family. I have found that in most of my sisters and I feel that I can go to them with any problem I may be facing and they will give me comfort and support without judgement.

3. Achieving greatness through...
Service. At my college, community service is honestly the biggest part of Greek life. We are taught in the Bible to be kind to one another and treat our neighbors with love.

"And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love." - 1 Corinthians 13:13

That isn't the verse that I was referencing in the title of this section, but I thought it would be a little added bonus to remember that the greatest gift is love. Love is the greatest gift you can give or receive. Like I said, Jesus taught us to achieve greatness through serving others.

"But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister;" - Matthew 20:26

"As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God." - 1 Peter 4:10

"Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who art in Heaven." - Matthew 5:16

Community service is a great way to spread your Christian influence. Right after I was initiated into Alpha Sigma Tau we started Greek week. Our philanthropy day was spent at the Boys and Girls Club in my [college] town. Several of the kids that I worked with at the church I attended in my [college] town were there and they were SUPER happy to see me. They ran around holding my hand telling all of their friends from the BGC that I was "Miss Erin from church." It put a huge smile on my face and warmed my heart that I was able to represent my sorority and my church in front of these children.

So what's the verdict?
Can you be in a sorority and be a Christian? Well, I highly agree with another author that this is a matter of prayer. I also agree that your closest friendships should be fellow Christians and seek friendships in campus ministries, but be wary. Just like belonging to a church doesn't make you a Christian, belonging to a campus ministry doesn't make you a Christian. If you are an incoming freshman, you have an entire summer before recruitment season. Spend it in prayer and see where God is leading you.

**All scripture is in the King James Version. That's what I was raised on.**

My Graduation Day Playlist

With graduation looming over my head (December 19th) I have started putting together my playlist for this momentous occasion. I didn't make a playlist for my high school graduation because I was so excited to leave, but college is a different story. I love all the friends I've made and all the moments I've had at my college, and I wouldn't trade it for anything!

 1. Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield

 2. Send Me On My Way - Rusted Root

 3. The Climb - Miley Cyrus

 4. Butterfly Fly Away - Miley Cyrus & Billy Ray Cyrus

 5. Ready, Set, Don't Go - Billy Ray Cyrus & Miley Cyrus

 6. Gone, Gone, Gone - Phillip Phillips

 7. Some Nights - Fun.

 8. (I've Had) The Time of My Life - Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes

 9. Home - Phillip Phillips

10. Good Life - OneRepublic

11. Say Something - A Great Big World

12. This - Darius Rucker

13. Over You - Miranda Lambert

14. The House That Built Me - Miranda Lambert

15. Even If It Breaks Your Heart - Eli Young Band

16. Whenever You Remember - Carrie Underwood

17. For Good - Kristin Chenoweth & Idina Menzel

Each of these songs tells its own individual story of college, and together they tell my story. If you listen to each of them, they might just tell yours as well.

The Question.

If you are graduating college anytime soon (May or December) have probably been asked the question. "What are you going to do after graduation?" If you say that you haven't been asked that, you're a liar. Everyone around us wants us to have our plans in order for the next chapter of our lives, but sometimes we don't give the real answer because we know it's not what people want to hear.

In December I will (hopefully) be graduating with a degree in business management. Whenever someone asks what I will do after graduation they expect me to talk about what I will do with my degree. Of course, I talk about how I eventually want to own my own business, but first I want to work to save some money to start the business. But that's really not all I want to do. I have a whole list of things I want to do after I graduate, so here are a few.


Travel

I have never really traveled. My parents will argue about how I've been to Kentucky, Tennessee, and Kansas. Although I remember Tennessee and Kansas, Kentucky is fuzzy. Yes, my senior year of high school I went to Mexico. But I've never gotten to really get out and explore somewhere. All those trips with my parents I was pretty young (Tennessee, Kentucky, Kansas). Like, younger than 13. I want to travel somewhere and just spend the day walking around and finding things. A little restaurant that no one knows about but has amazing food or a little boutique where the only thing I can afford is a key chain. I want to experience life on my own!


Live On My Own

I guess "technically" I've lived on my own since I moved to college, especially when I had my apartment my freshman year, but I've never felt like I lived on my own. I want to be able to buy groceries without calling my parents to put money in my bank account. I want to move into a place for more than nine months at a time that isn't my parents house. I want to have a house or an apartment that I can decorate how I want it to be. I want to have my own bathroom where I don't get fussed at if I leave my toothpaste on the counter. I want my own kitchen with my own dishes.


Get Married

It sounds so lame but yes, I want to get married after I graduate. I don't have a boyfriend and I haven't had one since my boyfriend dumped me two days after my 15th birthday. My last date was in December of 2011. It was a blind date, we went to a movie, and we never spoke again. My life has been consumed with going to school, making good grades, keeping my scholarship, and graduating. I haven't had time to date. Plus, a guy actually has to WANT to date you. I'm hoping that once I graduate I can find someone who I can picture forever with (because I'm a hopeless romantic).

I know I sound like the most boring person in the world, but these are things I want to happen. I want to go out and do what I love. I want to find someone I love. I want to live somewhere I love. I love my parents and my family, but they have gotten to have me around for 21 years. I think I need to spread my personality and who I am with others.

My Sorority Saved My [Academic] Life

As any freshman would do, I entered college wanting to fit in. I befriended many people in our school's marching band (because I was in it) and wanted to join an organization for band students. This organization required interested students to interview for potential membership. After my interview, I was chosen as a membership candidate for them. It was a dream come true and I thought it was the best thing to happen to me. Until March 19, 2012. I was dismissed from their program and did not join the organization. I became extremely depressed and wound up losing my academic scholarship because I performed poorly in my classes. I worked all through the summer of 2012, got my grades up, got my scholarship back, and decided that I would try to join again. This time, I was not invited to be a membership candidate. Needless to say, I got depressed once more.

If you remember from a previous post, I met my sisters for the first time on the side of the road. That is because the day after I was rejected we were marching in the county Christmas parade. I didn't want to be around band members because of how upset I was. I was hanging out on the side of the road all by myself when an AST sister approached me to make sure I was okay. I explained to her the story above, and she was appalled. As time went on, I was invited to eat lunch with the sisters, I was invited to open recruitment parties, and I went as much as I could.

However, the sisters didn't know something. Standing on the side of that road, alone and crying, I had decided that I was going to drop out after my sophomore year of college. I had had enough of feeling like an outsider, spending every day alone until my roommate needed me to run errands for her. My sorority gave me a reason to stay in school. I finally had a family that I was looking for.

Yes, I was active in the campus ministry. But if you read my last post about people changing when you join a sorority, that's what happened. Almost every person in the campus ministry turned their back on me because I went Greek. That makes no sense, I know. The closer I grew to my sisters, the more they pushed me away. Which is stupid, but whatever.

I will graduate in December 2014 with my Bachelors in Business Administration - Management. I didn't drop out because I found the support system that I needed. Yes, I have my parents and they are supportive of me; however they are 70+ miles away from me. My sisters are by my side, every day, cheering for me. I love being Greek, I love having sisters, and I love that I'm going to graduate.

When You Join a Sorority

It seems as though the public believes that when you join a sorority you lose every ounce of morality you have in your body. As soon as you accept your bid you become a different person. However, that is entirely untrue. And maybe it's not the sorority girls that change, it's the people around them.

Think about it. It's not all that crazy. People already have these wild and crazy assumptions about sororities and Greek life. Not EVERY sorority girl goes to a party every Thursday night. Most nights, sorority girls are either recruiting, completing volunteer hours, or doing homework to keep their GPA up. Not so crazy, right? So why does everyone have this huge problem with Greek life?

They believe the hype. Of course, the news doesn't help either. News outlets LOVE to pick up stories about  fraternities beating pledges with  paddles or sororities making their pledges sit on washing machines and circling every part of the pledge that jiggles (these both really did happen). They don't want to pick up stories about how many members of the Greek community went to a local elementary school and read books to kindergarten and first grade children on Read Across America day. No one cares that each semester (at my school) every Greek on campus is required to complete 10 hours of community service. It's the middle of the semester and I already have 12 hours. One of my sisters has 70.

Back to how people change when you join a sorority. Because they believe what they are fed via Hollywood and news outlets, many people in your life will not be okay with you taking the leap into Greek life. It won't be easy to watch the people you love most push you away, but you need to remember that if they truly cared about you, they would be happy that you are happy. 

But when you do join a sorority, you meet some of your best friends. When I joined, obviously my big sis and I became really close, however there were many other sisters that I built a close relationship with. I couldn't imagine life without some of my sisters and I wonder how I made it without them. Some of them I am still building a relationship with, but we are still pretty good friends. With spring break nearing and my sisters and I going in all different directions, I am not necessarily looking forward to 10 days without my best friends. At least I know that I'll get to spend a lifetime with them making memories and having the best days of my life. 

Elitist: What Does It Mean For Your Organization?

We've all heard the term "elite," but what does it really mean? What I found on Google (when I typed in "define: elite") was "a group of people considered (by others or themselves) to be the best in a particular society or category, esp. because of their power, talent, or wealth." We all would like to think that our group whether it's a sorority, club, or group of friends, is the elite group on campus. However, there is a problem with this type of thought.

If you have even looked at some of my past posts you might be able to figure out that I was in process for a sorority at one point in time, but I was dropped from their process for what I considered some of the most ignorant reasoning I've ever heard, but that is beside the point. I never actually heard any of them refer to themselves as the "elite" or the "best," however, at one point in time they gave off that "self-righteous" vibe to one of my friends. She even used the term "elitist" when mocking them. Basically the same thing that happened to me happened to her from the same group of people. Tonight I saw a status on Facebook where a girl called her sorority "the elite." I have a problem with this.

Of course as a member of that organization, this girl should believe that her sorority is wonderful and great. She should be proud to wear her letters, but referring to your sorority as "the elite" or "the best" can truly alienate PNMs. Girls who were on the fence about Greek life? Yeah, they have made up their minds. No one wants to walk into the middle of a war and in their minds a comment like "we are the best" may seem like there is an ongoing fight between organizations. She doesn't see the pride behind the statement, she only sees the vanity that it presents.

At my school, every organization is working to better our Greek unity. We realize that in a way, we depend on one another. Without one, the others may not exist. So, just so we get everything straight, I'm going to write this on a line all by itself so everyone can understand what I am saying.

No organization is the best, no organization is elite.

If you've ever seen the movie "Gotta Kick It Up" on Disney Channel (let me show my age) you'll know where this quote is coming from. "There is a big difference between the best and being YOUR best." What's the difference? Everyone thinks that they are THE best, but when we start judging who is the best people get their feelings hurt. When we stand back and say that we are proud of sorority and we try to be OUR best, that is when we are truly successful. At the end of the day, being the best doesn't mean anything. If you succeed in what you set out to do, who cares if you raised the most money, got the most new members, had the highest GPA. Who cares if you won Greek Week? That's NOT what these letters are about. These letters are preparing us for our futures. One thing we have to learn is to be successful, but also to not be "the best." Welcome to the real world.

Bullies Make Me Sick.

Recently I was speaking with one of my Twitter followers when the subject turned to my job and what I my future holds in said job. For those of you who don't know, I am working on getting my Bachelors of Business Administration - Management. I told this follower that I was boring. He asked me why I was pursuing business if I thought it was boring. My response was "I was born to be boring." Then he said something that referred to my self-confidence, or lack thereof. This got me to thinking.

I have been bullied and pushed around so much in my life that I don't believe in myself. I never refer to something that I WILL do. I always use "if" statements in every little thing I do. Example: Normal girls will say "When I get married my colors will be navy and pink." I say "If I can ever trick a guy into marrying me, I might have navy and pink as my colors." Of course, I can't MAKE somebody marry me, so that's not a very good example. Even though I'm a senior, I have doubts in myself about graduating. I don't have faith in myself to finish my degree. Why is this?

I'll hit the biggest land mark bullying moments. I guess we can pretty much chalk up the beginning of the bully days to the traditional "four eyes" bit every kid has done to that one kid with geeky glasses. And of course I can't find any pictures on Facebook of me in those geeky glasses. Probably because my dad knows how sensitive I am about that time in my life. I didn't get contacts until I was 12 or 13, so four eyes kind of stuck for a while.

There were other things that were constantly said to me. Like "you can't shop at Limited Too because only popular girls shop there." Of course, I was the "teacher's pet." If you can name any stereotypical bullying tactics, they were probably used on me.

In a previous post I mentioned that I have been wearing a size D since the 7th grade. Obviously, I developed a lot quicker than my classmates. One of the biggest bullying moments in my life happened in the sixth grade. I was wearing a C at that time. Kids would make circles around me in PE and at recess and make me hold my bra out from my shirt and jump up and down to prove I wasn't stuffing my bra. But that didn't stop them from walking past me, fake sneezing, then asking for a tissue. That was the first time I remember kids actually ganging up on me. Most things were kind of on an individual level.

Of course all through junior high the kids hung on to the bra thing along with the fact that I was so desperate to have a boyfriend I had a crush on every guy that took a breath in my presence. Which caused for the kids to tease me because I was "crazy." I was a nerd because I did my homework and made good grades... It was the same stuff I saw on TV, but I didn't have adults writing me witty lines to make the kids leave me alone. Unfortunately.

When I was in high school everything died down until my junior year. That was not only the year of me being called a racist (which was COMPLETELY unjustified and uncalled for), but it was also the year I gained the nicknames Wolverine and Hugh Jackman. Now, I am SUPER sensitive about what I am about to divulge, however I think it is important for people to know when getting to know me. I was diagnosed in December of 2012 with a disorder that causes my body to produce more testosterone than it is supposed to. More than likely this is genetic, there's nothing I could have done to prevent it. When I was about 16 it became more prevalent when a few strands of darker hair grew onto my face. After ONE guy pointed it out, I went home and shaved my face. Well, we all know what happens when you shave. The hair grows back darker, stiffer, and thicker. I still fight it to this day. Of course, from that point on I was dubbed as Wolverine or Hugh Jackman until the day I graduated.

And for those of you thinking "Oh no, how terrible!" yes, it WAS terrible. Along with all of that I lost all of my friends right at the end of my senior year, again at the end of my first year of college. You wonder why I have no self-confidence. It doesn't help that no one takes me seriously because I'm not a size 0, but that's beside the point. I've already written about that.

I guess to sum up every thing I'm saying (and why I said everything above) I want to say if you're bullying someone or if you've ever bullied someone, apologize. It is estimated that about 160,000 children miss school every day due to fear of attack or intimidation by other students (National Education Association). "Bully free zones" don't seem so bully free now do they? A study in Britain found that at least half of suicides among young people are related to bullying. 

"Bullying can often do long-lasting damage to a person's self esteem. Without being able to resolve some of these emotional issues, your child is at risk of becoming a bully themselves or might project the lingering feelings of rejection and hurt onto themselves. Children and teens who do this often will face struggles with eating disorders, cutting, burning and other forms of self mutilation. In the most severe cases, teens may not be able to handle the bullying, or may not be able to cope with the after effects of bullying and instead will resort to drastic measures like suicide to escape their pain." - http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/bullying-victims.html

I guess I just don't understand why with all of the statistics and information we have why people would continually do and say things that would make somebody want to hurt themselves. Now, before anyone tries to report me and say that I'm suicidal or that I'm hurting myself, I can guarantee you I'm not. I just have extremely low self esteem. The next time you feel the need to say something to someone that you KNOW will make them feel like less of a person, just don't say it. And if you know someone who is being bullied or who has been bullied, please watch over them carefully. I'm so sick of seeing stories of kids killing themselves because of bullies. It makes me sick. Bullies make me sick.

Dear Society, I'm Beautiful And I Don't Need Your Approval.

My university's beauty pageant is 2 weeks away and I'm pretty sure I am the only competitor that weighs over 150 pounds. I actually have no clue who the woman on the left is. She's gorgeous, I'm not going to lie. She's thin, blonde, she PROBABLY has blue eyes... She's what our society would probably consider "perfect." That's me on the right competing in last year's pageant. I am actually really proud of who I am. Yes, I would love to be her size so that I could actually shop for clothes and they would fit me correctly and maybe a guy would actually want to get to know me, but unfortunately I am not that thin and I will more than likely be about this size forever.

I will never have a thigh gap, my legs are WAY too muscular for that. My arms will never be thin thanks to my days of weightlifting and color guard spinning. I have more muscle than fat on my mid-section, yet I'll never feel comfortable in a bikini. But why is that? It's because our society has taught women that if they don't look like the girl on the left they aren't beautiful. They're just average. Well, I have news for you. Us average girls out number those that society considers perfect.

As much as I love beauty pageants, they have propelled the image of perfection. I can remember growing up and Miss Arkansas would come visit our elementary school or emcee our Miss Land O Lights pageant. She was always so thin, but so perfect. I hated myself because I didn't look like her. My teeth were small, not huge and perfectly white like hers. I was a brunette with brown eyes and super dark skin, not the blue eyed blonde that everyone loved... And I hated the way I looked.

Looking back now I realize that it was pretty dumb to hate myself for things I couldn't really change. I mean, with my skin tone, blonde hair would just look weird so hair dye was out of the question. But why can't an average girl be the next Miss Arkansas? Why can't an average girl be the next Miss America? Miss USA? Why? Because at the end of the day society still wants to see the perfect girls lifted up onto a pedestal. Society tells me that because I don't weigh 120 (the BMI weight that correlates with my height) I am a lazy, obese slob.

Well, society. I am in a sorority and sorority colony. I am one of the founders of a music sorority colony on my campus, I am the Vice-President of Member Development for my other. I am a member of the marching and concert bands, I am a member of my campus' MBSF. I workout whenever I find a spare minute in my week between classes and meetings. I maintain a GPA above a 3.0, teach Sunday school and I work. Still think I'm lazy? So what, I weigh above what the BMI tells me I should? The BMI doesn't take in to account my muscle mass, the fact that I have worn a D since the 7th grade, or the actual activity I do. No, if you're 5' 4" and weigh over 120 pounds they send a letter to your parents saying "You're child is obese and is at risk of blah blah blah."

So, why can't I win my university's pageant? Why can't I win Miss Arkansas? Why can't any girl who is just like me win? I'll let you know when I finally get the answers.

Ring By Spring

Surely we've all heard the term "ring by spring" and with my final spring semester in college beginning I would like to write a little ode to this dear old term. Every sorority girl knows it, and there is a certain school that I know of that even their instructors encourage them to get that ring. However, I have something to say about this.

I did NOT come to college to get my MRS. Yes, I would like to have a (and this is going to sound so old fashioned) steady boyfriend by the time I graduate college. It doesn't look like that will happen, but whatever. I am way too young to be thinking about getting married. Yes, I have my wedding already planned thanks to Pinterest. I have all of my bridesmaids picked out thanks to my sorority, but I don't need a man to define my life.

Chris Crocker inspired me when I was younger with his video on codependency. (S)He talked all about how men and women who constantly have to be dating someone are not cute or classy. I agree. Desperation doesn't make you any more attractive and by dating someone new every 2 weeks, you're annoying all of your friends. But also, talking constantly about your boyfriend/fiancee is annoying everyone as well.

I will compare two of my friends. One of my sisters is engaged and has been with her fiancee for YEARS. They will be getting married next year I believe. She doesn't #mcm her fiancee every freaking Monday. She doesn't put selfies up saying "OHEMGEE I love him sooooo much!!!!" She doesn't post statuses telling us all how wonderful he is because he brought her chocolate and a teddy bear. Want to know why? Because she's not a child. My other friend started dating her boyfriend about 2 weeks after "the love of her life" dumped her. Every Monday she either Instagrams pictures of her boyfriend or of the two of them with a giant #MCM slapped all over the caption. She will randomly (on a daily basis) say "I love him soooo much!!!" Pretty much the complete opposite. I don't think she actually loves him, she loves the idea of having a boyfriend. And that's sad. And childish.

I guess it all boils down to the fact that being in a relationship should not be the only thing you focus on in your life. There's more to life than being in a relationship. I have so many things I want to do before I get married. Graduate college, open my business, travel, etc. Why would I tie myself down so early in life? I watched my parents do it (my mom got married at 18 and never went to college) and their lives have been pretty tough with not having college degrees. So, why do I still feel inferior to other women that have boyfriends/fiancees/husbands? Because deep down, all women want is to be appreciated by someone other than their family members.

The Things You Wish You Could Say [To The Ones That Broke You]

So, obvi I'm a girl so this one is gonna be really girly. Get over it. Ladies, most of us have had at least one group of friends who completely betrayed and broke us. And that's fine. It's completely normal because people suck. Sometimes it feels like those people got the final word, but if you had the opportunity to say one last thing to those people? Well here is a collection of the things I have found bring me peace when thinking of those people that I have politely kicked out of my life.

Thank You.

No, seriously, THANK YOU. Now, there are two reasons I am thanking you. Number one, after you broke me and I got my life put back together, I am a MUCH stronger individual. Yeah, I have fewer "friends" but I am completely fine with starting over. I will get it right eventually and you have opened my eyes to who will be there for me and who won't. So, thanks.

Number two, I want to thank you for giving me a reason to get someone out of my life that I didn't need. More than likely if you did this to me, it has been building up for months or years. You have probably been making my life awful for quite some time but I am way too nice of a person to just sell someone out. But now you've given me a reason to excuse you from my life. Thank you so much!!!!

Good Luck.

We were really good friends because you knew at the end of the day, no matter how you treated me, I would be there for you and help you in almost any way possible. Do you know how hard that is to find in a person this day in age? It's 2014, if you need someone to pick you up between the hours of 12 AM and 9 AM, it'll be a miracle. Good luck finding that free taxi that would drive you wherever your little heart desired. More gas money for me.

Sorry, Not Sorry.

I don't mean this in a sarcastic way. I'm sorry for whatever I did to make you go from being my best friend to my worst enemy in less than 24 hours, but I really don't think it was my fault. Plus, if this is my first time to piss you off, can we please talk about all the times I've sat in my room crying because you felt the need to make me feel so small and insignificant? It's the whole speck-mote thing you learn about in Sunday School. You're too busy looking at me and saying "Whoa, she screwed up!" to sit down and think "What have I done to make her act this way?!" So, I'm sorry I screwed up, but it happens to the best of them.

Seriously?

[Insert derogatory names here]. I really don't think I need to explain this one. Just, seriously?!


So the next time someone decides that you're not good enough to be in their inner circle of friends, just remember that sometimes it's a good thing that you don't have to take care of their dumb selves anymore. All you have to do is sit back and enjoy the train wreck their life becomes trying to live it without you!!!!

We All Know THAT Girl

We always tell girls to not be "that girl," but how do you recognize THAT girl??? She comes across during rush. She's simply "that girl." The girl that we all look at and say "Bless her heart." She's not stupid, she just doesn't make the best decisions. She's not annoying, she can just frustrate you at times. There are many "that girl" moments, but here is a collection of some of the best I have come across.

Me+Him=4ever

This probably has to be my favorite. It's the girl who shows up to school and the very first guy she meets is THE ONE. She spends every waking moment with him, texting him, and when she's not awake, they're cuddled up sleeping in her bed annoying the crap out of her roommate(s). She swears they'll be together forever. She celebrates anniversaries every week. Every Monday without missing a beat her Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram are covered with pictures of her "perfect boyfriend" that she loves sooooooooo much with a nice bold #MCM next to the caption. Honey, we all know he's your boyfriend. You don't have to mcm him every week. It should go without saying that he's your mcm...

Tatted Up

I'm not condemning tattoos. Don't start on that stuff. I personally don't find them attractive, but whatever. This girl will have the absolute DUMBEST tattoos. There's the girl that gets her Justin Bieber tattoo because "one day he'll see me on Twitter and we'll fall in love and get married." Honey, I have news for you. If it didn't happen for me and Nick Carter, it won't happen. The girl that gets her boyfriend of 2 weeks tattooed on her shoulder inside of a heart... The list goes on. Most of these dumb tattoos have to do with men... If you can call JB a man...

Turnt Up

Come on, we've either seen her or been her. Every Facebook picture has some bottle of alcohol in it. Every Thursday is "thirsty Thursday" like it's some sort of holiday. She feels the need to inform everyone of her *cough* extracurricular activities.

It's late, so I'll go on and publish this. I promise I will add more tomorrow and write another post. I feel as though I've short-changed my readers today. Thanks for reading!!!!

The Reasons I'm REALLY Late

So, I'm sure we've all been late for a class. And I'm sure we've all had an excuse. Mine have ranged from "I got sick when I didn't eat with this medicine that I had to take" to "My suitemate and her boyfriend were having a full on physical fight outside of my door." But today I had some legitimate things happen that happened causing me to be late almost late for my only class today. So, without further adieu, here are the reasons I was almost late to class today that are totally legit and should be 100% excused.

1. Even though this was my only class and it's 1:00 in the afternoon, I can and did oversleep. It is possible. Don't judge me.

2. And because I overslept, I didn't get to eat lunch. So I had to rummage for food so my stomach wouldn't make the most ungodly noises. You're welcome.

3. And since I woke up late, I rushed around getting up and dressed. I forgot my notebook and I went back for it. Once again, you're welcome.

4. I swear, my dorm has the slowest freaking elevator in the world.

5. ...and there was a girl holding the elevator for her friend who was still getting ready. rude.

6. That bridge that the school widened? Yeah, that only made these dumb girls think that they could walk beside each other and block my way when they're walking slower... than... death...

7. This campus is really small. Every five seconds I get stopped by fellow students, faculty, and staff members. They want to ask how every little thing in the world is going and how I'm feeling... I have places to go and things to do!!!

8. I took the stairs to get to our classroom. I'm out of shape. Let's not talk about. Once again, don't judge me.

Sometimes it's better to tell the truth and usually when I'm late to class it is because of one of the above reasons (or any combination of the 8). Today I had all 8 happen. Oh, the joys of attending a small college.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!!!!

And by year I mean semester. It's recruitment time once more. Again, we will see many girls attend our open recruitment parties as Alpha Sigma Tau hopefuls and I honestly can't wait! I was recruited during spring CORs! I feel as though I may be able to relate to these women who decided to wait a little bit before joining a sorority!!! There's nothing wrong with it, and it makes you special like my beautiful pledge class!!!

There's all six of us during one of the nights of rush!!!! PC Spring 13!!!! We are so cute:)

Anyways, this time of the semester is crazy and hectic as we try to make the best perfect impression on these young women who are looking for sisterhood. At the same time we are trying to strengthen our relationships with other Greek organizations on campus, one another, our community, and keep our grades up. It seems impossible, but somehow every year Greeks all over the nation maintain a high average GPA than the typical college student. Why? Because we have to. If all of the other stuff means so much to us, we have to have the GPA to stay active. My dad always tries to warn me to not get in over my head too much with my two sororities, academic fraternity, and band, but it all pushes my harder and makes me strive to be a better student.

I love proving people wrong. Whenever someone tells me there's something I can't do, I sit down and figure out a way to do it. That's exactly what I've done with being Greek. If anyone is reading this and is considering going Greek, I'm more than happy to talk with you! No matter what school you go to, I'll answer all of your questions to the best of my ability!!!

Tweet me: @erinnicholeh and use the hashtag #GoGreekNow

xoxo Love you all!

Pay For My Friends? NEVER! Well, Actually...

Okay, sooooo here it goes.

To all you people who claim that sorority girls "pay for their friends" and that's the only reason they have any, I have news for you.

No, we don't.

If you look at the budget for my sorority, NOWHERE on it does it say "friendship fee." Yeah, no. But wait, I have even BIGGER news for you.

I was paying for my friends BEFORE I joined a sorority.

That's right. I was buying people long before I had my Alpha Sigma Tau letters plastered on every single shirt, all over my wall, on my notebooks, etc. If I wanted someone to like me, I knew all I had to do was pick up a little something here or there that I knew they liked and they would love me until they wanted something else.

I pay $60 every fall to be in the marching band. Am I paying for friends there? No, I'm paying for a shirt, a hat, my color guard instructor's paycheck, etc. But because in marching band we don't refer to each other as "sisters" no one has ever accused marching band members of paying for their friends. However, I have gone the extra mile... I don't just pay for the band fee. (Well, my PARENTS don't just pay for the band fee.)

Every weekend my mother brings boxes of cookies to football games. Why? It was a tradition I started a LONG time ago and it was just for one game with one section of the band. But the word spread and when I brought cookies to everyone, I was the best person in the world. What I'm trying to say is, everyone can be bought. Whether it's with money or cookies or whatever you're willing to give up.

But here's the crazy thing. I would much rather be paying the dues for my sorority and being with the people I love and that love me for who I am than be buying little trinkets here and there for people who don't actually like me. Of course I realize that not everyone in my sorority likes me (I'm not dumb), but they don't treat me badly because they don't like me. I'm not expendable to them. They may not like me, but they respect me. Which is much more than I can say for some other people that I have had in my life. They didn't like me or respect me and I still tried to buy their friendship because I was naive. 

So for everyone who has ever said that a sorority girl is just paying for her friends, I want you to really think long and hard. Everything is not black and white like you want it to be. And don't justify your lack of friends with being "too proud" to buy them. It's not classy and it's not cute. kthanksbye.

13 Things Greeks at Liberal Arts Colleges Will Relate To

So, I follow Catie Warren on twitter (she writes for TFM under the name From Rush to Rehab) and through some twists and turns on the internet I came across this beautifully written, totally relate-able blog post. 47 Things Greeks at Liberal Arts Colleges Will Relate To (http://totalfratmove.com/47-things-greeks-at-liberal-arts-colleges-will-relate-to/). While I love the article and can relate to most of it, I would like to make some additions, if you don't mind:)

1. You have a ton of Greek service organizations.

2.Speaking of Greek service organizations, it's not odd for you to be in one of them or an academic Greek organization. 

3.Your school offers money to the student organization with the most people in attendance at certain sporting functions *cough*basketball games*cough*. The recipient is typically a Greek organization.

4. The president of the university sends your chapter's twitter shoutouts and words of encouragement.

5. Greek week is a super big deal, yet somehow the same sorority/fraternity combo win the overall competition every year.

6. Your sorority sisters would rather have a Harry Potter movie marathon than go out and party.

7. Speaking of parties, your school has a ton of rules about party, including a party curfew and forms that must be filed to hold one.

8. The cap on your number of members is somewhere around 50.

9. Your biggest pledge class had 12 pledges.

10. You have essentially doubled your chapter in one semester.

11. Most of the advisers are alumni of your chapter that graduated in the last 5 years.

12. Your sorority has one guy that they keep up with everything he does in his life. (My chapter's guy was on The Voice and will be on this season of American Idol.)

13. Your original opinion about Greek life was that it was exactly how Hollywood portrayed it. Never in your life would you join a sorority/fraternity. Ever. Yet here you are.